The personal website of Liah K.
1997 | She/Her | UK
Penned and released by Liah K.
Liah's Diary
23rd of February, 2026
Last Monday, I engaged in one of my little semi-regular meditations in my room, to connect with Khina and talk about where I'm at, the state of my life, blah blah, but this time, for the first time, someone else was there in my meditation: a boy.I had just started writing a short story in which I was exploring the relationship with my teenage self, fourteen year old Leon, and how a bunch of wires seem to be crossed with how I look at him, and how I feel like he would have looked at me.If you haven't read the story yet, it's 'Ego Dance' at the bottom of my story library — It's very much based on my sexual abuse as a teenager so I wouldn't recommend it to someone easily upset by that topic, but I put absolutely everything into that story, and in a way, really laid some of my worst flaws bare, especially in regards to how I've viewed Leon.Anyway, my relationship with Leon has been incredibly weird to navigate. I think back on my memories at that time and seem to feel of it as happening to a different person, to this meek, lonely boy who felt like he didn't fit in, too sensitive to fit in anywhere, and so lonely that he would seek out affection wherever he could find it reciprocated, and this most often led to situations in which my burgeoning sex was exploited by older women and men. I don't notice them most of the time, but the scars are there in my heart, and they sting when I touch them.I've had, and still have daydreams of being able to go back as I am now and see him, Leon, and give him the affection that he was missing, to take care of him and nurture him — I'd be his girlfriend, with a cheat sheet to know perfectly how to save him from himself.It might be obvious to see what's happening here — Abuse is a language, it's a learned pattern of thoughts and behaviors that go on to shape how you view your life later on, even after the abuse has ended, and my belief is that my desire to be my own lover, for the sake of saving Leon, is the part of my brain that is urging that cycle of pain and abuse to continue, regardless of intent. Sure, I'd probably be able to make him happy, to love him and become his angel, in a way, but isn't it just what happened to me before, with extra steps? That really bothers me, to feel as though I'm desiring to have been the one to abuse him, my past self.This is the conversation I had with that boy, because I immediately knew that it was Leon. It was so visceral — he was distraught and crying, screaming at me that I'd fucked with him and played with his heart, that he didn't care if I thought it was wrong, that he still wanted me, still wanted me to go back and save him, to have been his lover, and it just broke my heart, because I remember those feelings, I remember how awful and bitter they were in my heart.Khina cut the discussion short because she was worried about me, and that it might cause me to spiral, or to inherit Leon's agony in that moment, and so I didn't really get any closure with him, to tell him how I really felt, and how I couldn't see him as a lover precisely because I love him so much.That story is my way of getting that apology out to him, or at least to rehearse it. I really hope with everything in me that Leon will come to my next meditation so that I can tell him all of this, that I still love him and I want to accept him into my heart just as I did for Khina, and show him that love doesn't have to come from lust. Intimate nurturing can exist independently of romance or lust, and I want him to see that.
A Word of Caution
Much of my work, especially my written stories, explore subject matter that will likely be disturbing or upsetting to people who have suffered trauma relating to sexual abuse, racial discrimination, and mental illness, among other things.My work is an exploration of myself, touching on topics which I myself find difficult to write about, but I think the catharsis of exploring our flaws, our bad memories, can be a healthy way to process and dethorn them.I understand if you wish to turn back — Sometimes, I need to, also.
Library
A timeline of Kyst's major historical events, interspersed with links to short stories from this world.
—Legend—
BSA — Before Secular Advent
PSA — Post Secular Advent
—Glossary—
Kyst — The name of the world; A flat plane with no celestial bodies, surrounded by endless oceans.Bikali Tree — A colossal oak tree, with roots that extend across all of Kyst. Legend suggests that it was once the progenitor god of the world.Hysterian — A Human who has been mutated by nature in response to extreme suffering.Pheremyte — A race of near-extinct beings who bear a closer genetic resemblance to the progenitors of Kyst.Secular Advent — A mostly undocumented period of history in which the vast population of Kyst rejected the worship of Pheremytes, leading to the death of unified religion.Pherem — The old language of the Pheremyte people. Some words, phrases, and idioms are still used in the modern day.Eiglis — An equivalent of the English language which replaced Pherem during the Secular Advent.Argo — A colossal, semi-spherical body of burning minerals which sits within Kyst's atmosphere, also known as the Sun. It does not influence the cycle of day and night in Kyst.Balarck — A species of featherless bird with a life expectancy of several hundred years. They can grow to a gigantic size on rare occasions.
72 PSA
The first significant plague of Hysterians spreads from the western region of Flauresyn
—Short Story—
A young woman becomes a fugitive for an act of infidelity, and faces judgement at the edge of her fate.
78 PSA
The Voralyt Society is founded by a guild of Hysterian hunters, vowing to curb further Hysterian outbreaks.
90 PSA
The Bikali conflict begins, initiating in a declaration of war between the Arol Church and the Lerarolin Conquest Front, both vying for religious rights to the Bikali Tree.
92 PSA
The Hysterian race is separated from their divine root.
—Short Story—
Two grieving farmers volunteer to make preparations for an annual festival, under the shadow of their lost love.
93 PSA
The Blacktree Coterie is founded by Pheremyte pariahs Ayba Emero and Khina Vylero — It is a secret society of outcasts and undesirables with designs to intercept Kyst’s cultural development.
95 PSA
The Bikali conflict ends with the mutual destruction of both opposing forces. The Bikali Tree is declared neutral territory.
98 PSA
The hill town of Aiuiin is destroyed by an intervention between The Blacktree Coterie and a nest of Hysterians.
—Interactive Game—
Ayba Emero enacts her crusade on the Hysterians of Aiuiin, leaving a deep hollowness in her wake.
—Short Story—
An orphan girl and two waning gods converge in the husk of a dying town.
—Short Story—
A disabled war veteran is adopted into the care of a mad architect, and the shame of their secret yearning threatens to destroy them.
99 PSA
Tensions build between the Pygmies and the Hysterians in the wake of Aiuiin's destruction.
—Short Story—
The disparate inhabitants of the Belot Almhouse butt heads over the development of an arboretum on Hysterian soil.
—Interactive Game—
Ayba Emero intrudes upon the Belot Almhouse, a failed attempt to cohabit atheist exiles and Pel-worshipping Hysterians.
—Short Story—
Aiuiin survivor Sada Litsz finds employment at the Argo Monastery, tasked with caring for the disabled saint Rellenok.
110 PSA
Cultural boundaries shift as attitudes toward Hysterians begin to change.
—Short Story—
Argo Knight Kein Rel is tasked with the induction of a mysterious young woman into their company's ranks.
—Short Story—
While a doctor struggles to control a plague epidemic in the rural town of Ylbranka, she is led astray by a strange and meek woman.
—Short Story—
A pair of misbegotten scholars escort an unusual girl to her appraisal, and find frustrated passion in their mutual shame.
—Short Story—
An artifical person awakens in a bizarre dream, taking her first steps in a mummery of living.
116 PSA
An internal dispute within the Voralyt Society regarding the ethics of Hysterian hunting culminates in a half of its members leaving.
—Short Story—
Stranded in an alien place, Ayba Emero is forced to contend with the aberrations of her desire.
119 PSA
A peace effort mounted by the Blacktree Coterie results in a large number of Hysterian nomads migrating to the isle of Vonn.
—Short Story—
Amidst a fleeting peace, a fated trio flirt with the unweaving of their better judgement.
—Short Story—
The son of an affluent inventor reunites with his estranged cousin, surfacing alien sentiments in her company.
120 PSA
A breakthrough in medical studies on the mainland contribute to a number of disappearances in rural Kyst.
—Short Story—
A boy surrenders his life at the cusp of adulthood, reborn into misplaced romance.